Follow Up for Catholic Enemy #1

This is a follow up to the call I answered in the previous post.  It will be in your best interests to read that post first to truly grasp what is going on here.

Dear Catholic Enemy #1,

I had a chance to talk to my boss about your plight, and I have terrible news.  He is indeed Catholic.  Not only is he bound by the church to report you, but did you know that he was put in his position of power by the Diocese itself?  They did that because they knew you were moving to our district, so they intentionally placed him in power to keep an eye on you.  They were waiting for you call.  My boss told me to say “Mwahahahahahahaha!  You thought you could cry for help, did you?  Now you will pay for crossing the Catholic Church!”  His words, not mine. Now your pleas have inadvertently brought about your own demise.

By the time this letter reaches you, you may already have disappeared mysteriously, which will be a great relief to me as the person who takes your calls, and to my intern who really was a little afraid to work on your case after he had bricks thrown through his window, cars parked outside of his house watching him, and people standing over his bed while he sleeps at night.  If you haven’t disappeared yet, I’m sorry this letter is ruining the surprise.

Sincerely,

The Non-Catholic Staffer Who Is Now Terrified Of The Catholic Church And My Boss

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